Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
