Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
