no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Drunk is not a location!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize