somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
