well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
