Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
