Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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