Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
