We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
