so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This baby is an asshole
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
