Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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