Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
