Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
