So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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