About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
