You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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