Don't you send me to vm
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
accomplished twins. life is a go
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
