No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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