Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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