The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
