they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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