so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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