the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
