I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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