I cockslap morals
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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