I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it because I queefed?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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