I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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