Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
