it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
