Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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