Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
