Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
