My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
