Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
