Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize