Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
