Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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