Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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