I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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