Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
