I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
