Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
