oh god the rape fog is back!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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