yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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