You work out of a Hotel?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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