Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
