if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
