I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
