I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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