In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
