i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
