First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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