the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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