You smell like stripper and shame
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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