Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
All the doctor said was why
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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