mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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