no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
birth control should be required to get into college
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
