i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
