worst night to have a conscience
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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