She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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